While the sinners sin and the pious pray
She stands still as her shadow plays
Along the rhythms of the pitter patter
Of orchids pink and roses white
Her memory was vague, yet
She was the embodiment of everything right
She was the heart and soul
She was all the colors in the sky and more
She was a sight for the eyes gone sore
Her name suited her well
She was noble and fluid and classy as hell
She was also lost and distracted
The one thing I know for sure
Poetry only got better with hers to add to it
Everyone agreed she was the perfect allure
There was a reason why she distanced herself
and its harder to distinguish reality now
Her footprints will last for eternity now
If the hills were greener
And the skies bluer
I’d sing to you, by god, I’d sing to you
If the nights were darker
And my heart softer
I’d stay by you. That I swear to you
This post was originally written on 7th Jan 2017.
I LOVE people who genuinely try to spread positivity in this dark and bleak world. It could be anyone, from an air hostess to a stranger you may have met at a bookstore. Is there anything better than spreading happiness? Like honestly.
Okay, I admit there have been at least a couple of instances (in the last month alone) where I literally rolled my eyes at someone who was chirpier than I was. These were the thoughts passing through my head: “What a complete and utter ass!”, “Why in god’s name is this person so happy? Like have they seen this world?”, “Are they trying to rub it in my face? Like GODD!” – (Yeah… I may not have been in my best mood)
I have been thinking, though, we all are entitled to happiness in whatever dosage it may come. We are supposed to cherish it and maybe, just maybe try to extend it those around us. And this isn’t just reserved for people, animals are one of the greatest sources of exuberance that I know of.
Twenty-eighteen, we are coming for you with a vengeance for happiness.
I think I’m starting to lose my sense of purpose. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. It is getting tougher by the minute. It doesn’t help when literally everyone seems to be against you. When all I am trying to do is just fit in. What did I ever do to deserve this? It is gotten to the point where I constantly keep lying to myself. Keep telling myself that things will be better someday. I don’t know if I believe that anymore. I don’t know what I believe in anymore.
What I do know is that I love you. A lot. And I am going to do my best to help you through this. It will get better. I promise. I am going to make sure of that.
I knew this boy once. He was kind and young and naive. He adored his Mother. Even when other things made him happy, he always looked for her validation. He longed for it. He craved for it. Each year the yearning would grow. He would get it sometimes and when he did, it was like getting a treat after he had done something bad. It felt so wrong. It felt unknown. He was not used to this. Yet he could not help himself. He wanted more. The boy grew up resenting her. He only found his happiness in denial now.
One day he got his validation again. Age had changed his Ma. She became kinder with her words. She became more affectionate. But he was reluctant towards her feelings. He had only found disappointment in them for so long. It took him a while to come around. In all this time, he realized he still sought her approval. But this time he got it. Only it was short lived. For time always wins.
What do you feel?
You are shaking..
You would be too, brother of mine.
You need to tell me what happened.
So I can help you.
She smiled and said:
Not everything has a context,
Not everything can be fixed,
Sometimes you just need darkness,
Instead of rationality.
But being there for you can’t hurt, can it? I caught myself wondering.
Why do we worry so much? Why is there a constant voice at the back of our heads screaming that all good things will eventually come to an end? We have a knack for thinking the worst and I don’t blame us. Life usually gives us a reason to think so.
I recently caught myself going over these lines from Man’s Search for Meaning written by Viktor Frankl, “What did the prisoner dream about most frequently? Of bread, cake, cigarettes, and nice warm baths.” These are all things you and I take for granted.
Nice warm baths.
I think I might just appreciate them more now.
I was thinking of all the little things I enjoy the most and I came up with these 3 things:
- The fresh scent of coffee brewing early in the morning, even though I’m not much of a coffee drinker myself.
- Feeling the cooler side of the pillow when you turn it over.
- People smiling.
We really need to get lost in the now more, no?